SOCIETAL JUDGMENT

Hello, my dear friends of life in my heavenly Turkey, whose health is precious, whose hearts are kind, whose souls are beautiful, and who are full of awareness.

In last week’s column, we focused on the human phenomenon. This week, in messages from our esteemed readers, I read the echoes of phenomena that remain silent in the subconscious and which you cannot assign meaning to. I learned a great deal from you, our valued readers. You complain about not being able to be where you are in life, in your family, at your workplace, at the center of life, everywhere; in short, about not being able to exist with your ‘true self.’ Now, let’s discuss this a little.

Sometimes there are days when you cannot understand the reason for the emptiness within you. You get out of bed in the mornings feeling as heavy as a tank. You think, ‘Has my opium not burst today either? What is this, friend?’ The reason? None! The person you are looking for right now (who is ego itself) cannot answer. But knowing that feeling is there is unsettling, isn’t it? Do not blame yourself or your surroundings in this situation. Because all our choices in this life are made as a result of a culture imposed upon us. They are not truly ours. So, how does this happen?

Let’s say you went for a walk in the city center with your spouse or friends over the weekend. Suddenly, a woman approaches from the opposite direction, about 1.75 meters tall, with fair skin, green eyes, silky hair, and perfect features. Next to her is a short, plump (pardon, wide), clumsy, squat man. Oh my God. They are arm in arm. And they are lovers. They approach you, laughing and playing. What do you think?

You would definitely think, “Wow. Look at that brute. He’s got a woman like an angel. This guy must have a thick neck. Otherwise, what is this woman doing with this man?” wouldn’t you?

Or let’s consider the opposite. You went to the mall with your girlfriends. Tired from shopping, you settled into a cafe outside. What’s that? An athletic, tall, smiling, charismatic, handsome man, straight out of a fashion ad, is sitting in a brand-new luxury car right in front of you. You made eye contact. But a second later (it usually takes less time) you noticed that in the driver’s seat was a fat, short woman, someone you’d be scared to see at night. They were holding hands, talking and laughing joyfully, unable to stop themselves. The yellow light came on, horns honked. They floored it and left. What do you think?

You’d think, ”I’m going to slash your tires now. What is this?” wouldn’t you?

We don’t think such crude things just because all our choices are a result of an imposed culture. I don’t believe that. All the answers to those prejudices, patterns, and definitions in your mind are actually in a broad area we call the ‘groundwork.’ We all give our own answers within our own reality.

The answer we give to the question, ”Who does a beautiful girl show interest in, and what do handsome men look for in someone?” makes us think within the dominant patterns of our society. You speak Turkish to communicate quickly and effectively with your colleagues at work, don’t you? You’re not going to speak Chinese or Latin like a nightingale. In the same way, we form common thoughts and behaviors in this glass jar (cultural judgments) we live in.

WEEKLY AWARENESS NOTE

I could give you hundreds more examples similar to what is written above. This entire thought system of ours begins to form slowly and steadily, exactly 6 hours after we are born. Then it takes on its magnificent final form. I call this final form the ‘intergalactic judgment council.’ You call it ‘societal judgment.’ Then, all together, with one voice and one heart, we begin to shout happily, ‘What will societal judgment say?’ We are now part of society. We are accepted. Try to act otherwise if you dare. If you are willing to risk being alone as an ‘individual,’ then of course, it’s up to you. Unconsciously, we cultivate patterns. In every area of life, too. Unfortunately, this is how it is. Because we are all as pure as the driven snow. No one knows how to look into hearts. Next week, we will seek answers to the questions ‘why don’t we know – how do we look’ in a new discussion. Stay with love.

Uğur Uğural