HUMILIATING CHILDREN
This morning, at a Sunday breakfast, my colleague and my beloved wife and I met with businessmen and their families as guests of a company.
On this wonderful day, reminiscent of a summer day, my wife and I were extremely pleased to be there, sharing the unique view of the Bosphorus on one side and the cheerful colors of the children on the other.
As our conversation drew to a close, Nevin, a four-year-old who had been playing with the other children, sat on her mother’s lap for a bite to eat. I noticed that little Nevin soon began listening to our conversation with the rapt attention of an adult. The intensity of her understanding of what I was saying was invaluable to me, beyond words.
Taking this into consideration, I began to look into Nevin’s eyes and, amidst the other adults, to engage her in conversation with my body language. Becoming even more excited and in keeping with the adult environment, Nevin’s question came without delay:
“My father goes to work when he leaves the house, where are you going?”
“I go to work just like your father, Nevincim…”
“So what is the job?”
“I work as a psychological counselor.”
“So how do you do it?”
“I engage in conversations with people as an expert on topics related to education, work, life, and mental health.”
“What does ‘expert’ mean?”
“I read books, Nevin, I take academic courses, and then I take exams.”
“So what happens next?”
“Then you become a doctor. If you work hard and continue your studies, you can even become a professor.”
Herkes şaşkın bakışlarla bizi izliyordu. Küçük kızın masadaki tüm sohbeti kare kare yakalamaya çalıştığını farkettim. Kendimi küçük Nevin’in büyük dünyasına kaptırmışken Nevin’in kardeşini ayakta uyutmaya çalışan babası, yüzünde şefkat dolu bir tebessümle:
“Oh my God, teacher, what are you doing? What does a young child know about psychology, doctors, or anything like that?” he said…
Putting everything else aside, what was truly upsetting for me was that Nevin, feeling humiliated by her father, realized the situation and reacted with distress – getting down from her mother’s lap as quickly as possible and running back to the playground.
Although I shared this communication crisis with her father and other friends present, little Nevin, the future mother, had tears welling up in her eyes, and the magic was broken.
However, every child is born with the potential to be a scientist. This potential can be developed or stifled.
Today, parents who can say, “If I could go back 10 or 20 years, I would develop a different way of communicating with my child,” possess the greatest power of discernment.
I wanted to share this image with you, as I believe it is of particular interest to prospective parents, parents, and those involved in education.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
Stay well and with love…
Uğur Uğural
