İKİNCİ YARI

Hello, my dear friends of life in my heavenly Turkey, whose health is precious, whose hearts are kind, whose souls are beautiful, and who are full of awareness.

If only you knew what’s in our inbox. Schools are opening tomorrow. Parents are anxious and pouring out their hearts:

“Teacher, our child isn’t studying!..”

I actually see your children as adults. That is, you are parents, they are individuals. Because a young person will not embark on the ocean of life with enthusiasm and eagerness unless they feel they are the captain of their own ship. Forcing this journey simply because you want it, encouraging them with promises of gifts, or conversely, threatening and coercing them, is like dragging that huge ship with oars. The captain needs to take the helm and become aware that they are responsible for this ship throughout the journey.

“That’s all well and good, teacher, but how will this awareness come about?” It will come about thanks to you. Unless you raise your children as free individuals, the captain will not take the helm, or they will say to you:

“If you know so much, you take over.”

For example, let’s say your neighbor, who is visiting, is trying to tell you they are full. But before they can finish what’s in front of them, you’ve tied their hands and feet with a rope and then, on top of that:

Let’s say you complain, “For God’s sake, eat, or you’ll see death!” and tell them they can’t leave that table without getting indigestion—you wouldn’t do that, would you? I think we often treat our children exactly this way. The message we convey is this:

“Oh human, I know whether you are full or not, you cannot know. Don’t trust your stomach, do as I say, I am at the helm, this is how it must be.” The message from the inner voice of human consciousness is this:

(Of course, they don’t dare to express it) “Might as well put a leash on me, I must be helpless.”

Now let’s consider the exact opposite. Let’s place the child at that table instead of the guest. Let’s assume the child leaves the table willingly, but is aware that they cannot snack on junk food until the next meal. Otherwise, they will go hungry. They will face the consequences. This is called responsibility. The child is at the helm. They will journey with responsibility on their shoulders.

Many questions arise at this stage. They came last week too. Even more so from social media posts. The question is:

“So, are we just going to leave these children to their own devices?” Of course not. On the contrary, we will educate them while they are still young. This period scientifically begins when children are 6 months old and continues until they are past 60 (I can’t bring myself to say ‘until they turn 60’, forgive me). So, friends; the child’s awareness of “This is my life, and the responsibility for my life rests with me” becomes the foundation of their success in the journey of life.

WEEKLY AWARENESS NOTE

The year is 1982. Despite our budget deficit, I am studying at Ankara Private Çıra College. 2. I am a student. It’s another Saturday, our day for the amusement park, then çiğbörek and ice cream. My father and I are in Kızılay. When I extended our time quite a bit, my father warned: “We need to go to the bus stop now. Otherwise, we won’t find a bus or a dolmuş.” Of course, I objected. My father warned again: “We might have to walk home.” My answer was short and clear: “It’s okay, we’ll walk.” Home was all the way in Demetevler. Eventually, we went to the bus stop. We waited for more than 2 hours, our bus didn’t come, so we took another one. I could barely breathe, it was so crowded. After a 1.5-hour journey standing up, we got off two stops before our home, the last stop. From there, we walked home for about an hour. My legs were numb from the pain. I was so angry and tense that I remember it like yesterday. I had already been over-excited at the amusement park. I had been on my feet for hours, from one ride to another. All of it combined; my feet swelled the next day. I cried. My Sunday was ruined. I couldn’t play with any of my friends. Yet, I could hear their voices, which was even more painful.

I complained bitterly to my father and blamed him. I had to take it out on someone. My father said exactly this:

“My son has become a big man who makes his own decisions now.”

A few minutes later, I comprehended and understood at that moment. I stopped crying out of shame. And I realized. My responsibility, my pain, my experience. What I mean to say is, expensive schools and education aside. I don’t think they are as memorable and powerful as life lessons.

Uğur Uğural