FINAL STRETCH

Hello, my dear friends of life in my heavenly Turkey, whose health is precious, whose hearts are kind, whose souls are beautiful, and who are full of awareness.

Our column published last Sunday, ‘Big Pieces,’ received a record number of emails from our valued readers; thank you. It seems we touched upon a social issue. We realized this from your letters. The joy of discovering emotions we felt but couldn’t understand, even if mixed with sadness, was reflected in your beautiful comments and shares. Now I want to turn our attention back to our children.

Tomorrow marks a critical week for our children, the guarantee of our future and the assurance of our beautiful country. This final stage of the LYS (University Entrance Exam) naturally holds significant goals in terms of life success. Parents, educators, and students alike attach great importance to this phase. Although it pains me to share this with you, I hesitate to write it; unfortunately, the LYS situation I’m facing is characterized by anxieties, expectations, and meanings focused on the outcome, rather than on the process itself.

A few days ago, a valuable guidance counselor called me to discuss a matter. Her voice was hopeless and desperate. We talked about the general situation of our children. The guidance counselor had recently met with the parents, explaining that the expectations and pressure on the children had turned into fear in recent weeks, negatively impacting their academic performance, and offered advice. Some of the parents reacted negatively to this situation, saying:

“Sir, this is how we raise our children. Since they’ve come to you to complain, go ahead and do as you see fit, but if these children fail the exam, you will be responsible. We will hold you accountable,” he said.

WEEKLY AWARENESS NOTE

I want to address our very valuable readers, dear parents, who send us emails every week from all corners of my beautiful country, reading these lines and sharing their lives with us.

Perhaps right now you’ll be thinking, “What’s the big deal? We’re just trying to make our child successful; who are we striving for?” and questioning the situation. You’d be right in your own way. However, from a scientific perspective, you’re not right.

There are delicate balances and very critical behavioral patterns in child education. We all have approximately 13 billion nerve cells in our brains. This means that last year’s top scorers in the YGS and LYS exams also had the same number. Your child has the same potential for success, or even more.

These sentences have nothing to do with the now stale classic motivational conditioning. I know I repeat myself often. However, we need to accept at some point that these sentences are related to science and reality. I think, like everyone else, I share this concern for parents and teachers. But shouldn’t we show some respect for the individual and the magnificent potential inherent in their nature?

We have already shared the answer to the question, “What should we do with respect?” in our previous articles. As parents, we need to realize that we must raise our children not by shirking our responsibilities and relying solely on what we learned beforehand, but by continuously developing our awareness throughout our lives. This path does not involve shortcuts or rote learning. It requires awareness, culture, knowledge, and wisdom. We must learn and be in a state of lifelong development.

The phrase, “What I know is enough for me,” is merely an opiate for our minds. Taking responsibility doesn’t just mean putting food in front of the child, sending them to school, and giving them pocket money. Because you are facing a neurologically perfect being, designed for success. The important thing is to have the intention to see that being. If there is mutual respect and love within the family, then there is success in life.

Are you able to raise your child to be, first and foremost, someone who respects themselves, has clear intentions, and possesses self-awareness?

If your answer is ‘yes’, don’t worry. In this situation, your child will neither abuse themselves nor you.

Uğur Uğural