CRAB BASKET
Today I met again with my fisherman friend Celal Bey, whom I met two months ago in Sarıyer. I ordered thyme tea again, while Celal Bey ordered strong, dark red tea. During our conversation, I noticed that he had finally parted ways with the cigarette pack he carried in his shirt pocket. I was happy for him. I wondered how he managed it. Celal Bey immediately pointed to the crab basket in front of us and began to explain:
“When I was a child, I used to go out to sea with my father. He would say that the basket we put the crabs in didn’t need a lid. Do you see the crabs? Each one wants to get out of the basket, but as soon as one crab starts climbing up, another one climbs up behind it and pulls it down. For years, I couldn’t see this truth right in front of my eyes. We enjoy discovering the thoughts of others, but we get angry when our own thoughts are discovered. We even react negatively sometimes. We ignore the things that are pulling us down at those moments so as not to hurt ourselves.”
Mr. Celal’s description made me think quite a bit.
In our lives, there may be people we value, even those who become habitual members of our society. We may enjoy communicating with them and building relationships. However, we often fail to realize that these people are harming us, silently violating our healthy living boundaries. When we do realize it, we may not see that the defense mechanisms we activate to protect ourselves are coming from the unconscious and acting before our conscious awareness. This situation causes us to become even more attached over time. We think it makes us feel good. But when we finally see the truth, it hurts.
I learned so much about life from this conversation. I felt like I grew and gained valuable insights, and I wanted to share them with you.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
With love and respect.
Uğur Uğural
