OPINION
It’s a summer afternoon at the Kadıköy pier. I’m in the bookstore on the upper floor. The city smells of the sea. Haydarpaşa harbor, directly opposite, looks unique at sunset. Our conversation deepens. Ahmet, a psychology student, shares an anecdote with us that will make everyone think.
“Mr. Uğur, like my other classmates here, I’m a student who has to work. I ask for help from my friends who take notes for the classes I can’t attend. This morning, I asked a female student sitting two rows in front of me for her notes. I told her I would photocopy them and bring them back right away, and even offered to leave her my student ID card. She looked at me as if I were some troublemaker harassing her. Without even answering, she got up from her seat and walked away.”
“You must be very angry. I can see you’re bottling up your anger and letting it build up inside.”
“Yes, I was very angry. I felt like a beggar harassing that girl.”
“Ahmet, I can imagine the feelings you’re experiencing as a man of honor. I recently went through a similar situation. I believe this issue is important for our country, and I want to share it with you. Would you like to hear it?”
Ahmet nodded, his eyes filled with tears that he was struggling to hold back, his forehead red. I took a sip of my tea and continued.
“My wife Çiğdem and I have been working together for two years at an institution where we met Ms. Aysun, a receptionist who is successful in public relations and speaks English like a native speaker. Ms. Aysun is a very cheerful young woman. We occasionally greet each other and have short conversations.”
“A few days ago, during our conversation, Ms. Aysun mentioned that she reads a lot of books and is an anthropologist, so I invited her to join our group. She was happy and gladly accepted my invitation. I told her that our group meetings are flexible and asked how I could reach her. Guess what happened?”
Leyla Hanım, the owner of a company that places great importance on our chat group and university students, excitedly asked to speak.
“What happened, Mr. Uğur? I’m very curious.”
“Aysun Lady hesitated for a few seconds after I asked the question. Then, as if I had asked her for something immoral, she avoided eye contact in embarrassment.”
“What happened afterwards, Mr. Uğur?”
“Ms. Leyla, in fact, Ms. Aysun was conveying the message ‘Get out of my sight, you misogynist’ through both her body language and her voice. But she wasn’t even aware that she wasn’t aware of it.”
“Why is this happening, Mr. Uğur?”
“Ms. Leyla, in order to give the most accurate and scientific answer to this question, we need to talk about the struggle for existence of women in Turkish society from the Ottoman era to the present day, and ask ourselves some questions. For example;
What are the cultural frameworks that define ‘appropriate’ behavior for a woman?
What does December 5, 1934, bring to mind for men and women in our country?
What is global gender equality?
I think reality is just a perspective. And perspectives can change. We can discuss these issues as a team next week.”
I would like to share the comments of parents who have taken the time and effort to share their thoughts on this subject, via the link below. I believe that these observations will greatly enrich our knowledge.
facebook.com/Dr.U.Ugural/BAKIŞ AÇISI
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
With love and respect.
Uğur Uğural
